I Heart Book + ELE
I attempted to write a blog post a month ago, but I was in the process of weaning off my allergy medication which left my brain agitated so I didn’t finish it. The unused draft finished with, “good god, I am so unfocused right now.”
But here we are now! 11:30 pm on a Tuesday, ah yes peak energy…great. I am feeling incredibly uplifted right now because I just finished a book called Authority, the second book of the Southern Reach Trilogy. The ending was so GRIPPING, I am ecstatic. I always check myself on this feeling when finishing a book, though. I can’t tell if I am SO uplifted because the weight of finishing this book has been lifted off my shoulders. The illusion of upward movement when ceasing downward movement. Like when taking a hike and seeing the ground move towards you for so long that when you stop, the ground looks like it’s still moving towards you. Or literally like weight resistance training, when a baseball player uses a weight on the bat, removing it before their turn at home plate. I will use this excitement to propel me into the next thicket of a book.
I released an album called ELE, short for electronic. It consists of a bunch of electronic music experiments I made in these past few months. One little story comes to mind: The creation of the song POP TEA SHOPPE SPEAKER. I am really good at treating myself to wonderful things like tea/boba/energy drinks/candy/mac n cheese/chocolate/etc, and this specific night I visited my local boba shop at night which was playing pop music over the speakers. I was unexpectedly very into that music, and wanted to make better pop music, myself. Something so easily accessible, with maybe the slightest little unique and attractive flair in the songwriting. The thing about pop, is that it is the lowest common denominator simplicity in order for it to be popular and resonate with the most people. Sorry. It’s a business after all, more listeners, more money. Haha… “I make popular music.” So when I hear this pop music, I cannot help but begin creatively thinking how I might’ve expanded upon it. So I got my caffeine and tapioca, and went home straight to the synth. Makin beats yuh yuh skrt skrt stop. And I wanted to make the simplest little melody…but I couldn’t help myself! I kept taking it further and further! The melody quickly evolves into a poly-rhythmical, atonal assault in the guise of cute synth sound teehee. Atonal assault is an exaggeration. Anyway, the caffeine must have gotten to me, and the pop song inspo soon became the launch pad for a therapeutic audio math riddle with no answer. LOVE IIIIIIIT.
Speaking of therapeutic, the song CARTWHEELS was a wonderful creative process. I performed it live on my synth (ASM Hydrasynth explorer FYI). I recall I had no intention of recording, I just wanted to sit with very soft tones. I came across the two parts of that song in my exploration and needed to capture it. So I did. In hindsight, it seems too long for the listener, so you are welcome to skip it after a few minutes haha. But the length was purely for my own benefit of hearing it on loop. Being drawn into that wonderful meditative state a musician might reach when playing music.
I’ve been understanding how such a state is cultivated. I believe the key is entering the music creation with no needs. No attachment. Sit back, relax, I am already content. Be honest with yourself; play the notes you wish to hear. It’s a mental state that is reflected in the music played. Tuning the vessel (you) to explore what is within that frequency. I sound like a hippie. So hip. OK GET THIS DUDE! If you tune your vessel to a frequency that is NEEDING TO FIND SOMETHING, you will never find anything, because you’ve established that your goal is NEEDING. And it will be reflected in your art. This has happened with me, at least. I have found myself unsatisfied because of the pressure I am working from. The pressure of needing to do something great...probably from social pressure or money-related anxieties—very human of me, I reckon. hugs self awww cute. Anyway, I’d rather be in the mindset of having just heard something great, then creating from there. That would probably result in creating something great. I think the worst feeling is THINKING about the notes you played a second ago that didn’t sound good to you. So I just stop thinking altogether.
I am breaking this mental habit I’ve created for myself: thinking that things are HARD! Oh, nah, it’s actually easy. There’s no deep layering of unpredictable hellscapes beneath the surface that I should endlessly prepare myself for. It’s just surface. Paper thin surface. Lovely. Imagine silly Satan blocking my way on the sidewalk swiping through tiktok as if he has something to do. I say, “scuse me.” “Oh sorry.” And I keep struttin! It wasn’t Satan, it was just your local gym manager doing weekly meal prep on an abacus! This stream of consciousness is out of hand. Thanks for reading. Goodnight.
